So i've had an interesting week this week in terms of the book. A few cold, hard realizations have occurred which will most definitely delay the date when I said I originally wanted the book to be published.

And here are the reasons why....

I think there are two different kinds of authors; ones who plan everything right down to the last detail before even writing the first scene of the story; and the others who just start typing with nothing but a general idea of what they want to happen.

I thought I was the latter, having written nearly my entire book on nothing but my spontaneous imagination. Then I came to the last few chapters and hit an immovable wall. And I can't for the life of me figure out how to get my characters to where I want them to be in just those few little chapters. It's incredibly frustrating when normally words come so easy to me.

So the last few weeks i've been relentlessly going back to edit my work and have yet again hit a wall with even the beginning chapters, which originally I was super pleased with and was convinced they needed no changes at all.

That was when I realised that there is so much important stuff missing from the story, things I didn't even realise at first would make that much of a difference but now I am positive they do.

I think the story itself is still a brilliant concept and i'm also happy with my scenes and settings BUT my characters are lacking depth and therefore run the risk of readers not relating to or rooting for them. Small things like little traits or habits which help make a person who they are, make a character seem more real, are all but none existent and I do get the feeling that one of my main characters is also a little too much on the depressive side, or at least her back story is too present (and the back story is depressive) which is overshadowing the story itself.

Hmmmm....it's a tricky one to rectify when i've already written most of the book but I think perhaps I may need to take a step back from the actual story writing and do some character back story planning before I continue editing my work.

I've also struggled a little with the passage of time throughout the story. It's difficult when writing from two characters view points, to move the story forward at an agreeable pace because each time I swap which character is speaking, they refer to the same situation that has just happened, to give the reader a look at how each of them views the same situation in a different way. So it's hard to progress the story in that way when I want the story to be spanned over the course of one year, it may end up being a hundred chapters long!

I hope it's not just me, and that all authors struggle in this way too. Being a writer is a solitary job and is also nail bitingly nerve wracking; you might write a chapter you think is some of your best work and then read it two weeks later and think it's rubbish because when you write you are essentially putting your heart and soul into the book, and the thought of other people reading it and not liking it is debilitating to your self esteem and confidence. As someone who is naturally a bit of a perfectionist as well, my need to make this book 100% perfect is a contributing factor to the small part of me that just wants to give up; because I feel like nothing is good enough. Does anyone else ever feel this way with the things they do?

Though I am unhappy with some of the book as it is I am by no means deterred from finishing it. This is my first novel and I knew when I started it that it wouldn't be easy. Having a good imagination is really only the start, anyone could have a good imagination, it's putting that imaginative ideas you have into writing that is the really challenging aspect of story writing. But I know that the challenges along the way will just make it all the more satisfying when I do finish it and see it published.....and hopefully get some good feedback for it too!

So for now i'm getting back to it, and hopefully my characters will tell me a little more about themselves.....

......and in case you were wondering (which i know you will be because it's ace!!) my background is one of the designs for my book cover, courtesy of Patrick Crosby of Patrick Crosby Designs (see my previous post for further information).